“My older brother taught me.” The words came easier to Ahsoka’s lips every time.
The first time someone had asked her how she knew so much about the galaxy or where she learned to fight, she’d been caught off guard and had mumbled something about having a good teacher before slipping away. After that she’d spent some time thinking about what to call Anakin now that she was “undercover”, so to speak, and this was the best thing she had come up with. After running through all the options: Master, Teacher, Father(ew), the best friend she’d ever had, she’d landed on ‘Older brother’. In every way besides the biological sense, he truly was that. He was family.
And even though she was no longer his student, even through she had walked away, she would always be bound to him. Through love, respect, trust, and, of course, the Force. Whenever she needed to calm herself down or remind herself that she was on the right path, she meditated, and reached out to him through the force. His familiar presence was soothing and comforting, when everything else in her life was not.
Although she missed him, the knowledge that he was always there for her was enough to make her feel better.
Until one day, that presence was gone, leaving behind a void of pain and anger and violence that she couldn’t understand. When she learned about The Emperor’s ‘Order 66’, she’d attributed her feelings to that and assumed the worst: Anakin, her mentor, friend, her partner in everything, her brother, was dead. And she would have been inconsolable if she hadn’t convinced herself that Anakin would no doubt have gone down fighting, and that even in his last moments, he would have been protecting all that was light in the galaxy.
Still, the force was both living and cosmic. If he had left the living force and moved on, she would have sensed it. Perhaps in all the chaos that had ensued she had been unfocussed and therefore sensed something else.
She knew Anakin, but that uneasy feeling was always there in the back of her mind, her worst fear, waiting to be realised.
Photo Credits: Star Wars The Clone Wars