One With The Cosmic Force

Hera was broken. After all this time, all her trials and struggles, this was too much. Her strength had finally given way. From the first day she’d met him, she’d realised how special he was. She had always been strong, but when she couldn’t be, he was always there to be strong for her. He was the only person who’d been with her from the dawn if it all…and the only person she thought would have been there until the end…

Kannen Jarrus…that was how she knew him. But since the beginning, Caleb Dume hd always been in there, and he always stood out to her. But it didn’t matter what he called himself. She loved all of him, and she couldn’t believe she’d waited so long to tell him…Somewhere in her heart she knew he knew, but she still regretted every moment of the last several years. She had dragged him into tis fight. He’d never wanted war, and now he was gone because of it…

What had he told her once? “Death is not the end. It’s just movement into another realm. The realm of the stars…” She sighed to herself and walked up to the turret gun on The Ghost. His favourite place, because he could see all around him, all the stars and the skies…and now she was supposed to believe that he was a part of them…? “Rejoice for those around you, who transform into the force”, he’d said. But how could she believe that when it was so mystical, so unreal, and so out of reach?

She was just wallowing in her own misery…gah, she chided herself for feeling that way, she needed to be strong. But how could she be strong without him? She didn’t even remember what that was like any more…fighting the universe on her own. Gods, she was being ridiculous…she was ignoring everyone else…she knew they all cared about Kannen as much as she did, and must have been feeling just like she was. Especially Ezra…oh Ezra…he was so young, he didn’t deserve this. He needed her more than anything right now. And it made her even sadder to think how much Kannen must have resented having to leave him like this, just the way his master had to leave him.

She started to cry…again. But this time she didn’t even try to stop it. She let go, and le the tears roll forth, and years of pain, loss, and grief seemed to wash over her. But then they also washed away. Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered what the crew would think if they heard her sobbing over there like a baby, but then she realised she didn’t really care.

Her emotions were settling…if only for the moment. Her head was beginning to clear and she was sure that this was as close as she was ever going to come to “rejoicing” Kannen’s death. She dried her eyes, lowered herself down from the turret, and then walked back to the turret. To her safe place. She announced into the comm system that she was taking them for a spin and when she met no apparent objections she took off. She remarked that Chopper was nowhere to be found. He’d been spending a lot of time in Kannen’s cabin lately but apparently thought no one had noticed. That made her smile.

She sighed. Flying always made her feel good. It made her feel weightless, elated, like a child on a trampoline. Utterly free. Apparently Ezra had noticed this because he emerged from his nose gun hideout a few minutes later and pointed this out.

He sat in the seat across behind her, not wanting to be in Kannen’s seat…They flew in silence for a few minutes before Ezra said dejectedly, “I miss him too…I…just feel so lost…I don’t know what to do, and I don’t want to make you have to take charge that’s not fair I just don’t thi-“
“I know,” she cut him off. “It’s alright Ezra…I understand this has been hard for you…and I’m so sorry…but I believe Kannen would say something like ‘Rejoice for those around you who transform into the force’”

They smiled.